Have you ever faced a situation where someone is angry with you, and you’re unsure how to respond? It can be tough, but the right words can make a world of difference.

In this guide, we’ll share key steps on what to say to someone who is angry with you, to help you effectively communicate with someone upset with you. Learn how to offer a genuine apology, understand their perspective, and find solutions together.

1. Start with Acknowledgment

Recognize their anger. This initial acknowledgment shows that you’re not dismissing their feelings. It sets a tone of respect and empathy.

For example, imagine your partner is upset because you forgot your anniversary. Start by acknowledging their feelings, “I see you’re really upset because I forgot our anniversary. I understand why this day means so much to us, and I’m sorry for not remembering it.”

2. Apologize If Necessary

An apology should be sincere and specific. Acknowledge the inconvenience or hurt your actions have caused.

For example, if you’re late to a meeting with a friend, say, “I’m sorry for being late. I know your time is valuable, and I should have planned better.”

3. Offer Understanding

Demonstrating understanding shows empathy. It’s important to validate their feelings without making excuses for your actions.

For example, your coworker is angry because you unintentionally took credit for their work. You could say, “I can see why you’re upset. You worked hard on that project, and not being acknowledged isn’t fair.”

Also Read: 10 Snappy Comebacks for When Someone Says “Or What”

4. Ask for More Information

If you’re not sure why they’re upset, it’s a good idea to ask them to explain more. This shows you want to listen and really understand their side, instead of just guessing or making assumptions.

For example, if a friend is mad and you’re not sure why, ask, “I sense you’re upset with me, but I’m not entirely sure why. Can you help me understand what I did?”

5. Express Your Feelings

If things are getting too heated, it’s a good idea to pause the talk. This helps everyone calm down. Later, you can talk more calmly.

For example, say your sibling is angry because you missed their performance. Express your feelings by saying, “I feel terrible for missing your performance. It was important to you, and I regret not being there.”

6. Offering a Solution

When you think of a way to solve the problem, it shows you really want to make things better and admit you were wrong.

For example, if you didn’t return a book to your friend, you can say, “Oops, I forgot to give your book back. How about I bring it tomorrow and we grab lunch together?” This is a good way to fix what happened.

7. Ask for Time to Talk Later

Sometimes, taking a break can prevent the situation from escalating. It allows both parties to cool down and approach the conversation more rationally.

For example, if you and your partner are arguing a lot, you might say, “I think we’re both too angry to talk about this right now. Let’s chat later when we’re calmer.”

Conclusion

What to say to someone who is angry with you is key to being good at handling the situation. First, let them know you see they’re upset. Say sorry if you should. Try to get what they’re feeling. Be clear about what you’re both talking about. Tell them how you feel, too. Look for a way to fix the problem.

Sometimes, it’s better to wait and talk later. Using the right words can turn an argument into a useful conversation and improve your relationship.

Surya Deo