Are you tired of dealing with a man who runs hot and cold? One day he’s all about you, and the next he’s nowhere to be found. It’s a frustrating situation that can leave your head spinning.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Try these 15+ examples of exactly what to say to that inconsistent guy in your life.

Whether you want to confront him, keep it casual, or cut him loose, we’ve got the perfect message for every scenario. Plus, tips to handle the situation with confidence. Let’s dive in!

Why Is He So Hot and Cold? 

Before we dive into what to say, let’s unpack some reasons why guys blow hot and cold:

1. He’s Not Ready for Commitment

If a guy gets close then suddenly pulls away, he may like you but not be ready for a real relationship. 

2. He’s Keeping His Options Open 

Some guys want the freedom to date around. If he’s inconsistent, he may be pursuing other romantic prospects on the side. 

Also Read: Got Stood Up? 21 Hilarious Texts Will Make You Laugh (Not Cry)

3. He’s Only Interested in the Chase 

Many men enjoy pursuing a woman more than being in an actual relationship. He may lose interest after “catching” you.

4. He’s Emotionally Unavailable 

If a guy runs away when things get even a little serious, it could point to underlying emotional unavailability.

Texts to Send Mr. Hot and Cold

texting inconsistent guy

Now that we know some reasons behind his maddening behavior, here are 15+ examples of what you can text an inconsistent guy:

 1. Call Out His Mixed Signals 

“I feel like I’m getting mixed signals and it’s confusing. What’s going on?”

Directly address the confusing mixed signals he’s sending. Ask for clarification about his inconsistent behavior.

 2. Point Out His Inconsistency 

“You’re so hot and cold, I never know what to expect! Care to explain your inconsistent behavior?”

Bluntly state that his hot and cold behavior is inconsistent. Request an explanation for his actions.

 3. Tell Him He’s Giving You Whiplash 

“Trying to keep up with your changing attitudes is giving me whiplash. Can we talk about this hot and cold routine?”

Express how his mood swings and inconsistency are making you feel off-balance. Suggest discussing his hot and cold pattern.

 4. Ask If He’s Really Interested 

“I can’t tell if you’re actually interested in me. Are you? Yes or no.”

Directly question his interest level in you. Request a clear yes or no answer.

Also Read: 36 Good Roasts For Fake Friends To Expose Them

5. Let Him Know He’s Sending the Wrong Message 

“The way you’re acting makes me feel like you’re not that into me. Is that what you’re trying to communicate?”

Point out that his actions make you feel like he’s not interested. Ask if that’s the message he’s trying to convey.

 6. Establish Your Boundaries 

“I really like you, but I’m not okay with the inconsistency. I need someone who’s all in.”

Communicate that while you like him, you won’t tolerate inconsistency. Affirm your need for a fully committed partner.

 7. Give Him a Taste of His Own Medicine 

“Since you take so long to reply to my texts, I think I’ll start doing the same.”

Mirror his behavior by taking a long time to reply to his texts. Add a playful emoji to keep it light.

Also Read: Responding to “You’re Too Young for Me” with Confidence and Grace

 8. Ask What His Intentions Are 

“I’m a bit confused about your intentions. What are you looking for from me? Casual dating, a relationship, or something else?”

Express confusion about what he wants from you. Directly ask if he’s seeking casual dating, a relationship, or something else.

 9. Be Direct About Your Needs 

“I need consistency and reliability in a partner. Can you provide that? If not, no hard feelings, but I’ll have to move on.”

Clearly state your need for consistency and reliability in a partner. Ask if he can provide that, and if not, assert that you’ll need to move on.

 10. Tell Him to Step Up or Step Out 

“If you’re genuinely interested, I need you to show it with your actions, not just words. Otherwise, I think it’s best we go our separate ways.”

Request that he show his interest through actions, not just words. Suggest parting ways if he can’t deliver.

 11. Suggest Taking a Break 

“This hot and cold dynamic isn’t working for me. I think we should take some time apart to figure out what we really want.”

Express that his hot and cold behavior isn’t working for you. Propose taking a break to gain clarity on what you both want.

 12. Send a Funny Meme or GIF 

A well-timed joke can provide some much-needed levity. Send a silly meme or GIF that captures your frustration with his inconsistency. 

Infuse some humor into the situation with a well-timed meme or GIF. Choose one that captures your frustration with his inconsistency.

 13. Be Honest About Your Feelings 

“Hey, I want to be upfront with you. I’m developing feelings and your inconsistency is beginning to hurt. I need to protect my heart.”

Vulnerably express that you’re developing feelings for him. Share that his inconsistency is starting to hurt you emotionally.

 14. Ask for Clarification 

“I feel like we’re on different pages. Am I misreading things or are you unsure about us? Talk to me.”

Voice your concern that you two might not be on the same page. Ask if you’re misinterpreting things or if he’s unsure about your connection.

 15. Know When to Say Goodbye 

“This inconsistency is too stressful. I deserve someone who’s sure about me. I think it’s best if we end things and go our separate ways. Take care!”

Communicate that his inconsistency is causing you too much stress. Assert that you deserve someone who’s sure about you, and suggest ending things.

Tips for Dealing With an Inconsistent Guy

confused guy texting

In addition to these text examples, here are some expert-backed tips for handling a wishy-washy man:

1. Don’t Take It Personally

When a guy blows hot and cold, it’s easy to feel like it’s your fault. However, his inconsistent behavior is more a reflection of his own internal struggles, insecurities, or immaturity than anything you’ve done wrong. 

Recognize that his mixed signals are not a judgment on your worth as a person.

2. Focus on Yourself

Instead of getting caught up in trying to decode his behavior, shift your energy towards your own personal growth and happiness. 

Pursue your hobbies, spend time with friends and family, and work on your goals. By prioritizing your well-being, you’ll be less likely to let his inconsistency control your emotions.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

If a guy’s hot and cold behavior is causing you stress, it’s crucial to communicate your expectations and set clear boundaries. Let him know that you value consistency and stability in a relationship. 

Be direct about what actions or behaviors are unacceptable to you, and stick to those boundaries to maintain your self-respect.

4. Watch His Actions, Not His Words

When a guy is blowing hot and cold, his words may not always align with his actions. He might say he cares about you, but his behavior may suggest otherwise. 

Pay attention to how he treats you consistently over time, rather than getting swayed by occasional grand gestures or empty promises.

5. Know Your Worth

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is certain about their feelings for you and is willing to put in the effort to build a stable, loving relationship. 

Don’t settle for someone who leaves you feeling confused or unsure about where you stand. Recognize your own value and be willing to walk away from situations that don’t serve your emotional well-being.

The Bottom Line

Dealing with an inconsistent guy can be a bumpy ride, but these tips and text examples can help you navigate this frustrating situation. 

Remember: you’re a catch and you deserve consistency! Don’t settle for less. Set boundaries, honor yourself, and keep living your fabulous life. If he can’t get it together, let him go. You’ve got this, girl! 

FAQ Corner

Q1. Is it normal for guys to be hot and cold?

While not uncommon, it’s not healthy relationship behavior. Consistency is key to building trust and emotional intimacy.

Q2. Can I change a guy who blows hot and cold?

You can communicate your needs, but you can’t force someone to change. He has to want to be more consistent.

Q3. Should I wait for an inconsistent guy to come around?

That’s a personal choice, but know your worth and don’t wait around forever. If he can’t appreciate you, someone else will!

Q4. What if he has a good reason for being inconsistent?

Good reasons can warrant some understanding, like a family emergency. But if it’s a persistent pattern with flimsy excuses, that’s a red flag.

Q5. Will an inconsistent guy change if he really likes me?

If his feelings are strong enough, he should be motivated to change and claim you. If the inconsistency persists, he may not be that into you, or he may have some growing to do before he’s relationship-ready.

Surya Deo