Have you ever been caught off guard when someone asked, “Are you flirting with me?” It might surprise you to learn that we’re not always great at picking up on flirtatious signals.
A study by Jeffrey Hall of the University of Kansas found that people are often inaccurate when judging flirtation, with men being correct only 36% of the time and women even less so at 18%.
This might explain why that question can be so disarming!
Don’t worry, though; I’ve come up with 27 new, exciting answers that you can use whenever you find yourself in a flirty situation.
Table of Contents
15 Responses to A Girl for “Are You Flirting With Me?”
Playfully Evasive
1. “Maybe. Are you interested?”
Best for: When you’re genuinely interested and want to gauge her feelings too. Confidently asks her the same question again, which leads to some playful conversation.
2. “Depends. What’s in it for me?”
Best for: Lighthearted settings (a party, online chat) where boldness is welcome. A flirty question with a wink that is great for starting a fun conversation.
3. “I always bring my A-game. You’ll have to decide for yourself.”
Best for: When you feel comfortable and want to project a bit of playful mystery. He or she keeps her guessing and lets her decide for herself.
4. “Well, I’m always up for a little harmless fun. Are you?”
Best for: When you want to gauge her interest level without being too direct. This answer is lighthearted and not serious, making it seem like you’re open to flirting while also inviting her to do the same.
Witty Turnaround
1. “Are you complaining, or bragging?”
Best for: When you want to deflect her question with lighthearted humor. In a playful way, it puts her on the spot and takes away from the directness of the question.
2. “I always dress to impress. Are you impressed?”
Best for: When you want to turn it back on her with a subtle dose of confidence. “Flips the script” and lets her decide if what you did worked.
3. “Only if you like witty banter and a healthy dose of charm.”
Best for: When you sense she’ll appreciate cleverness and want to set the stage for more engaging conversation. An enjoyable challenge that shows who you are and how you flirt.
Confidently Direct
1. “Maybe. Do you like it?”
Best for: When there’s clear mutual attraction and you want to amp up the flirting. Exudes confidence, is playfully suggestive, and puts the ball in her court.
2. “You caught me! So, what are you going to do about it?”
Best for: When you’re feeling bold and want to challenge her to take the lead. Owns the flirtation with a cheeky call to action.
3. “Absolutely. Are you ready to handle it? 😉”
Best for: High-energy settings or online where you can get away with bold flirting. Unapologetically confident with a playful dare embedded in it.
Situational Examples
1. Work: “Maybe I’m just trying to liven up this spreadsheet… 😉”
Keeps it professional while injecting a touch of playfulness.
2. Friend Group: “I wouldn’t call it flirting…more like strategically dropping hints 😉”
Playful teasing that leaves room to ramp the flirting up, or back down.
3. Online Dating/Apps: “That depends. Do I get extra points for effort?”
Flirts with a cute challenge, inviting playful engagement.
Responses to Use Cautiously
1. “Sorry. I can’t take my eyes off you. Because, today you look different.”
Can be sweet, but risks being too much, too soon, depending on the rapport you already have.
2. “I’m not going to lie, I find you intriguing.”
While honest, this lacks the playful energy that makes the best responses so effective.
12 Responses When a Guy Asks, “Are You Flirting with Me?”
Playfully Evasive
1. “That depends. Are you offering something in return?”
Best for: Settings where a playfully cheeky vibe is welcome (parties, online, etc.) Confident and challenges him while leaving room for him to up the ante.
2. “I’m just being friendly… maybe a little too friendly 😉”
Best for: When you’re testing the waters and want to playfully gauge his reaction. Owns the potential flirtation with a wink, inviting him to take the lead.
3. “Only if you can keep up.”
Best for: When you want to set a playfully competitive tone and add a bit of mystery. Exudes confidence and suggests there’s more to you than meets the eye.
Witty Turnaround
1. “Well, since you noticed…”
Best for: Lighthearted moments when you’re feeling playful and cheeky. Suggestive and turns the attention back onto him, forcing him to respond.
2. “Do I need a reason to enjoy talking to you?”
Best for: Deflecting with playful charm rather than being totally evasive. Keeps it cute while avoiding a direct yes/no answer.
3. “If I say yes, will you finally ask me out? 😉”
Best for: Online settings or if you have an established rapport where boldness is appreciated. Flirty, direct, and cuts to the chase in a playful way.
Confidently Direct
1. “A little bit. Is that a problem?”
Best for: When you’re feeling bold and want a straightforward response. Owns your flirtation with a hint of a challenge.
2. “Maybe. Are you hoping I am?”
Best for: When you have a sense he’s interested and you want to amp up the playful tension. Teasing, flirty, and invites him to make his feelings clear.
3. “Definitely. But you seem to be enjoying it.”
Best for: When his body language and tone suggest he’s into it. Confident and calls him out in a playful way.
Situational Examples
1. Work: “Trying to make this meeting a little less boring. Are you complaining? 😉”
Takes professional boundaries into account while still being friendly.
2. Friend Group: “I like making you smile. Is that a crime?”
Being flirty while pretending to be innocent, this style works well with friends you already have.
3. Online: “Depends. Do you like a girl who takes the initiative?”
It’s direct but fun, and it’s a great way to try out dating apps.
Gauging Interest Levels (How to Interpret Their Response)
- Response Speed & Enthusiasm: Quick replies with playful emojis or exclamation points signal interest.
- Reciprocal Flirting: Do they match your flirty vibe or even escalate it? This is a great sign!
- Virtual Mirroring: If they start using similar phrasing or emojis as you, it suggests they’re building rapport.
- Asking Questions: Shows they’re engaged in getting to know you, not just focused on the “are you flirting?” question.
What to Avoid when Replying “Are You Flirting With Me?”
“Are you flirting with me?” can be a bit of a creepy question. You should avoid the following types of responses, though, because they can kill the flirty mood or send the wrong message:
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Being Overly Sexual: Unless you’re in a setting where that’s explicitly welcome, overtly sexual responses can be off-putting and inappropriate, especially early in an interaction.
Example to Avoid: “Depends, what are you into?” (Too suggestive, too soon)
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Being Dismissive: Shutting down the conversation reveals disinterest and can feel a bit rude.
Example to Avoid: “Nope.” (Abrupt and shuts down the playful interaction)
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Overly Generic: Responses that lack any spark make you seem uninterested or boring.
Example to Avoid: “I guess…” (Shows lack of enthusiasm)
- Ignoring the Context: The right response depends on the setting! Flirting at work should be way more subtle than at a party. Ignoring social cues can lead to awkwardness.
No matter how little flirting you feel like giving, try to answer with an air of playfulness and politeness, and don’t be afraid to acknowledge the playful intention behind the question.
What Does “are you flirting with me” Mean?
This question isn’t always a straightforward request for a yes/no answer. Here’s what someone might really be getting at when they ask:
- Seeking Validation: They like the attention and want to make sure you think they’re attractive.
- Testing the Waters: They’re attracted to you, but unsure if you feel the same way. The question is meant to be fun and see how interested you are.
- Defining Boundaries: This holds true most of the time at work. The question could be their way of making sure that the way you talk to them stays appropriate.
- Playful Teasing: Maybe they’re just joking when they say something flirty without expecting a serious answer.
- Power Dynamics: This question could be used very rarely as a way to show authority, especially in a workplace where there is an imbalance of power.
Situational Meanings
How someone interprets the question depends on where it happens:
- Work: Leans towards defining boundaries. The question might be their way of checking if your flirting makes them uncomfortable.
- Friend Group: A mix of playful banter and genuine curiosity about whether there’s romantic potential.
- Online Dating: Often, it’s their way of gauging mutual attraction and moving towards a more direct expression of interest.
Remember, a touch of humor often makes your flirty comebacks even more irresistible!
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