Getting stood up is the absolute worst. The disappointment, the confusion—it’s enough to make anyone want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers.
But instead of letting it ruin your day, why not turn it into a source of laughter?
A perfectly crafted, funny text can help you overcome the sting and remind you that you deserve better.
Here are 21 of the funny responses to being stood, the most creative texts to send when you’ve been stood up. They’ll have you laughing, not crying!
Table of Contents
Outlandish Excuses to Send When You’ve Been Stood Up
1. Alien Abduction Inquiry 👽
“Hey, just checking if you were abducted by aliens on your way here? If so, blink twice in your next selfie!”
A playful jab suggesting an out-of-this-world reason for their absence.
2. Time Traveler’s Dilemma 🕰️
“Got stuck in the 18th century on my way to meet you. You won’t believe the traffic here. Wait for me?”
Incorporates a humorous, imaginative scenario showing you’re not taking the situation too seriously.
3. Pop Culture Plot Twist 🧙♂️
“Turns out I was needed as an extra in a Harry Potter reboot. They said I’m the next Dobby. Always knew my ears were special!”
A lighthearted excuse that uses pop culture to add a touch of whimsy to the disappointment.
4. Magical Mishap 🔮
“My crystal ball said you were the one, but it must have been looking into another dimension. See you in the multiverse?”
Blends fantasy and humor, suggesting fate (or magic) might have had other plans.
5. Whale Transportation Mix-Up 🐋
“Sorry I’m late, my ride, a particularly slow-moving humpback whale, took a wrong turn at the Atlantic. Wait for me or catch the next dolphin?”
Example: “I guess my whale got lost in the sea of traffic. Next time, I’ll opt for a faster fish!”
Self-Deprecating Replies When Your Date Ghosts You
1. Clumsy Confession
“Was stood up and spilled my coffee all over myself. Guess it’s just me, my two left feet, and my stained shirt tonight!” ☕️ 🤕
Uses a moment of physical comedy to lighten the mood, showing resilience through humor.
2. Awkward Turtle Award 🐢 🏆
“Looks like I’m winning the ‘Stood Up But Still Awesome’ award tonight. Where should I send your nominee ribbon?”
Acknowledges the situation with a twist of humor, awarding both parties for their unique contributions to the evening.
3. Invisible Cloak Glitch 👀
“Thought I tried on my invisible cloak for tonight, turns out it works! You must’ve walked right past me.”
A self-deprecating way to suggest that their absence might be due to your own magical mishaps.
4. Tech Troubles 📱👻
“My GPS says I’m on a date right now. Guess it’s not updated for ghosting technology yet.”
Jokes about the struggle with technology as a metaphor for the date’s failure to appear.
5. Solo Dance Party 🎉💃
“Looks like it’s a solo dance party in my living room tonight. I’ve got two left feet, but they’re all I need to rock the night away!”
Example: “Dancing by myself because my moves scared my date away. They’re not ready for this jelly!”
Sassy Comebacks for When You’re Stood Up (That Still Wish Them Well)
1. Bless Your Heart:
“Hope you find your way as you seem to have lost it to our meeting spot. Bless your heart!”
A classic Southern phrase with a twist, implying sympathy for their ‘directional challenges.’
2. Missed Connection:
“Looks like we missed each other like two ships in the night. Yours must be lost at sea. Safe travels!”
A witty remark that wishes them well while highlighting the missed opportunity.
3. Star-Crossed Miss ✨
“We must be star-crossed lovers… you missed a great date. May the stars align for you in future endeavors!”
Uses literary allusion to create a light-hearted rejection that still sends good vibes.
4. Wishing Well:
“Hope you’re okay and just got caught up. My well wishes are with you, along with a bit of envy for whatever caught your attention over me!”
Sassy yet caring, this response shows you’re moving on but still wish them the best.
5. Compliment Sandwich
“Missed seeing your face! It’s a good thing my dog’s here to console me. Hope your night’s as amazing as you missed out on!” 🐶
Example: “You skipped a night of unforgettable fun. May your evening be as exciting as a documentary on paint drying. Enjoy!”
No-Nonsense Texts for When They Ghost You AGAIN
1. Fool Me Once:
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Joke’s still on you, I’m off to better things. Bye!”
A humorous take on a well-known saying, emphasizing your move onto better prospects.
2. Subscription Canceled:
“Your subscription to my time has been canceled due to lack of interest. Please don’t try to resubscribe.”
Turns the tables by treating the relationship like a service subscription, highlighting their lack of commitment.
3. Ghostbuster:
“Looks like you’ve ghosted me again! Don’t worry, I’ve called the Ghostbusters. We’re all good here.”
A playful response that makes light of their behavior while firmly showing you’re over it.
Also Read: So He Ghosted You And Now Wants You Back: 11 Ways To Handle It
4. Three Strikes:
“Strike three, and you’re out! Hope you find what you’re looking for, but it’s no longer me.”
A direct, sports-themed message that humorously conveys you’re done giving chances.
5. Membership Revoked ❌
“Looks like your membership to the ‘cool dates with me’ club has expired. No renewals accepted. Best of luck!”
Example: “Your VIP access to my awesomeness has officially been revoked. Doors are now closed!”
6. Adventure Awaits Elsewhere:
“Our treasure hunt ends here. X marks the spot where I move on to more reliable adventures. Bon voyage!” 🗺️
Example: “Looks like my map to treasure led me to a ghost town. Time to set sail to more vibrant shores!”
Remember, being stood up says nothing about you and everything about them.
A good laugh heals the wound and helps you move on to someone who actually deserves your time!
Don’t forget to share your own funny response to being stood in the comments.
Let’s spread some laughter together!
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