Funny TTS Phrases: 42 Hilarious Text-to-Speech Lines for Laughs

Text-to-speech (TTS) technology has advanced significantly, providing realistic computer-generated voices that can read any inputted text. While TTS is valuable for accessibility and hands-free computing, it’s also a fantastic tool for comedy. 

By inputting the right humorous phrases, you can make your TTS voice say things that are sure to make you laugh out loud. 

I’ve gathered over 42 funny things to say in TTS that will brighten your day and entertain anyone listening. Prepare to giggle as we explore these hilarious TTS phrases!

Funny Tongue Twisters and Word Play

1. “Sally sells seashells by the seashore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if Sally sells shells on the seashore, I’m sure she sells seashore shells.”

 This tongue twister plays with the repetition of “s” sounds and the word “seashells,” making it tricky to say quickly.

2. “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.”

 This phrase repeats “wood” and “chuck” to create a tongue-twisting effect, while also presenting an absurd scenario of a woodchuck chucking wood.

3. “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?”

 The repetition of “p” sounds and the phrase “pickled peppers” makes this tongue twister challenging to say quickly and clearly.

4. “Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy, was he?”

 This phrase plays with the repetition of “Fuzzy Wuzzy” and the irony of a bear named “Fuzzy” having no hair.

5. “I saw Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop. Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.”

 The repetition of “s” sounds and the play on words with “sits” and “shines” make this tongue twister fun to say.

Related Read: 25+ Gut-Busting Funny Things To Say on Helium For Endless Laughter

6. “Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?”

 This tongue twister repeats “can” in different contexts, making it challenging to say quickly and clearly.

7. “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!”

 This phrase plays with the word “scream” and its similarity to “cream,” creating a fun and memorable chant.

8. “Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.”

 Repeating “toy boat” quickly can lead to slips of the tongue, as the sounds blend together.

9. “Red lorry, yellow lorry. Red lorry, yellow lorry. Red lorry, yellow lorry.”

 The alternation of “red” and “yellow” combined with the repetition of “lorry” creates a challenging tongue twister.

10. “Unique New York. Unique New York. Unique New York.”

 The repetition of “unique” and “New York” tests the speaker’s ability to articulate the “n” and “y” sounds clearly.

Related Read: 31 Fun Ways to Respond to “What’s Good” or “WSG” Text Messages

11. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.”

 This tongue twister repeats “sixth,” “sick,” and “sheik,” making it difficult to say quickly without stumbling.

12. “A proper copper coffee pot.”

 The repetition of the “p” and “c” sounds in this short phrase makes it a tricky tongue twister.

13. “A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.”

 This phrase is filled with “p” and “s” sounds, making it challenging to articulate clearly.

14. “Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie.”

 The repetition of “imaginary” and “menagerie” combined with the alliteration of “m” sounds creates a difficult tongue twister.

15. “If a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose?”

 This tongue twister plays with the repetition of “sh” and “ch” sounds, making it tricky to say quickly.

Absurd Sentences and Bizarre Statements

16. “The invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at either.”

 This one-liner plays with the concept of invisibility, creating an absurd scenario where an invisible couple’s children are also unimpressive.

17. “I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.”

 This pun plays with the homophones “mist” and “missed,” creating a humorous twist on the idea of trying to catch fog.

18. “When life gives you melons, you’re dyslexic.”

 This joke plays with the popular phrase “When life gives you lemons…” by replacing “lemons” with “melons” to create a humorous reference to dyslexia.

19. “Broken pencils are pointless.”

 This pun plays with the double meaning of “pointless,” referring both to a pencil without a point and something being meaningless or useless.

20. “What do you call a dinosaur that is a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.”

 This joke combines “Brontosaurus” with “snore” to create a humorous dinosaur name that reflects its noisy sleeping habits.

Related Read: 46 Hilarious Ways to Shut Down Unwanted Texts

21. “I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.”

 This joke uses the phrase “play on words” both literally and figuratively, as the performance is about puns, which are a form of wordplay.

22. “What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!”

 This joke plays with the idea of a bear having no teeth, comparing it to a gummy bear candy.

23. “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!”

 This joke uses the fact that 12 inches equal one foot, creating a pun between a body part and a unit of measurement.

24. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!”

 This pun combines “impostor” and “pasta” to create a humorous term for a fake noodle.

25. “I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.”

 This joke plays with the idea of a boomerang coming back when thrown, using it as a metaphor for remembering something.

26. “When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.”

 This joke anthropomorphizes a clock and plays with the idea of going back in time, using “seconds” as both a unit of time and a reference to food.

27. “Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.”

 This joke uses the phrase “with my eyes closed” figuratively to suggest something is easy, but also literally, as one typically sleeps with their eyes closed.

28. “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.”

 This pun combines “irrelevant” and “elephant” to create a humorous term for an insignificant elephant.

29. “I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.”

 This joke uses the phrase “it hit me” both literally and figuratively, as the baseball physically hits the speaker and they realize why it was getting bigger.

30. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

 This joke plays with the phrase “impossible to put down,” which typically means a book is very engaging, but here it also refers to the book’s anti-gravity properties.

Pop Culture References and Humorous Quotes

31. “I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” – Unknown

 This dark humor quote exaggerates the importance of phone battery life, suggesting the speaker values their phone more than the listener’s life.

32. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

 This quote ironically expresses indecision about being indecisive, creating a humorous paradox.

33. “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

 This quote puts a humorous spin on laziness by comparing it to an energy-saving feature on devices.

34. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” – Harry Potter

 This quote from the Harry Potter series is often used humorously to express mischievous intentions.

35. “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

 This sarcastic quote from Robin Williams humorously dismisses the listener’s opinion by implying they are wrong.

36. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

 This self-deprecating quote from Oscar Wilde humorously suggests that his own cleverness can be confusing, even to himself.

37. “I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more.” – Unknown

 This ironic quote suggests that the speaker has learned from their mistakes, but instead of avoiding them, they plan to make more for the sake of learning.

38. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

 This humorous quote reminds people to enjoy life and not take things too seriously, as death is inevitable.

39. “I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields

 This satirical quote from W.C. Fields humorously suggests that he is not prejudiced because he hates everyone equally.

40. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

 This quote from Steve Martin humorously states the obvious, as a day without sunshine is indeed night.

41. “I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

 Similar to quote 32, this humorous statement expresses uncertainty about no longer being indecisive.

42. “I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

 This quote humorously suggests that the speaker is not arguing, but rather asserting their correctness, implying a level of self-assurance.

Final Thoughts

There’s an endless supply of funny things to say in TTS, from tongue twisters that challenge the computer voice to absurd one-liners and witty quotes. 

TTS technology offers a unique platform for comedy, and with the right phrases, you can create endless entertainment for yourself and others.