Dogs are our loyal companions, always there to cheer us up and make us laugh. But have you ever thought about making them laugh too?

Here are some funny things to say to your dog that will surely get their tail wagging.

1. “Who’s a good boy? You are! Yes, you are!”

2. “Wanna go for a walk? Just kidding, we’re going to the vet.”

3. “I love you more than bacon. Well, almost.”

4. “Did you just fart? Gross, but impressive.”

5. “Stop chasing your tail, you’ll never catch it. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

6. “I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t throw any wild parties while I’m gone.”

7. “If you’re happy and you know it, wag your tail!” *dog wags tail* “Good job!”

8. “I’m not saying you’re fat, but you might want to lay off the kibble.”

9. “Who needs an alarm clock when I have you barking at squirrels at 6 am?”

10. “You’re lucky you’re cute, because your breath stinks.”

For example, when my dog Charlie starts barking at a squirrel outside, I’ll say to him, “Charlie, that squirrel is not impressed by your machismo. Give it a rest, buddy.” He usually just tilts his head and looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Compliments for Your Canine

Everyone loves a good compliment, even dogs! Here are some funny things to say to your dog to make them feel special:

11. “You’re the Beyoncé of the dog world.”

12. “I wish I could be as carefree as you, living your best life.”

13. “You could be a dog model with those good looks.”

14. “You’re the only one who truly understands me. And by understands, I mean doesn’t judge me for eating ice cream straight from the carton.”

15. “If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as you in my next life.”

Related Read: 30 Funny Things to Say Before Going Under Anesthesia

16. “You’re like a furry little superhero, always saving me from loneliness.”

17. “I love how you make every day feel like a adventure, even if it’s just a trip to the backyard.”

18. “You’re the only one I know who can make rolling in mud look adorable.”

19. “You’ve got the softest ears in the game. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

20. “I aspire to be as happy as you are when you see a tennis ball.”

My friend’s golden retriever, Daisy, is always so happy and friendly. Whenever we see her, I say, “Daisy, you’re like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Never change, you magnificent creature.” She responds with a big doggy grin and a wagging tail.

Related Read: 25+ Gut-Busting Funny Things To Say on Helium For Endless Laughter

Silly Observations About Your Pup

Silly dog Observations

Dogs do some pretty quirky things, and it’s always fun to point them out. Here are some funny things to say to your dog about their silly behavior:

21. “I see you’ve adopted the ‘if I can’t see them, they can’t see me’ approach to hiding from the vacuum cleaner.”

22. “You know, most dogs just eat their food. They don’t need to perform an elaborate dance routine first.”

23. “I appreciate you bringing me your toy to throw, but I’m in the bathroom. Can it wait?”

24. “You must be part owl, with the way you turn your head 180 degrees when you hear a noise.”

25. “I never thought I’d be jealous of a dog’s yoga skills, but here we are.”

26. “You’re like a canine alarm system, alerting the whole neighborhood every time the mailman comes.”

27. “I love how you act tough until a leaf blows by and scares the living daylights out of you.”

28. “Watching you try to catch your own tail is like watching a real-life comedy show.”

29. “You’re the only one I know who can make a simple yawn look dramatic.”

30. “I think you missed your calling as a professional hole digger. The backyard looks like the surface of the moon.”

My sister’s pug, Oscar, snores louder than any human I know. One time, I said to him, “Oscar, I’m surprised the neighbors haven’t filed a noise complaint against you. You could give a chainsaw a run for its money.” He just snorted and went back to sleep.

Random Funny Things to Say to Your Dog

Sometimes, the funniest things to say to your dog are the most random. Here are some silly one-liners to try out:

31. “I love you more than coffee. And that’s saying a lot.”

32. “You’re the reason I have trust issues. I trusted you not to eat my sandwich.”

33. “I bet you wish you had thumbs so you could open the treat jar yourself.”

34. “I’m not saying you’re spoiled, but you have more toys than most children.”

35. “You’re the only one who can make puppy eyes actually work on me.”

36. “I’m convinced you’re part kangaroo, with the way you jump around.”

37. “You’re like a furry little garbage disposal, eating anything and everything.”

38. “I think you missed your calling as a world-class sprinter. Especially when you hear the word ‘treat.'”

39. “You’re the only one I allow to lick my face. Consider yourself special.”

40. “I love how you think every car ride is a grand adventure, even if we’re just going to the drive-thru.”

When I take my dog, Luna, to the dog park, she always finds the muddiest puddle and rolls around in it. One time, I said to her, “Luna, you’re like a pig in mud. Literally. I hope you’re happy, because now I have to give you a bath.” She just looked at me with her big brown eyes, as if to say, “Worth it.”

Funny Things to Say to Your Dog When They’re Being Naughty

naughty dog expression

As much as we love our dogs, they can be little troublemakers sometimes. Here are some funny things to say to your dog when they’re misbehaving:

41. “I see you’ve chosen chaos today.”

42. “You’re lucky you’re cute, because you’re definitely not innocent.”

43. “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Actually, I’m a little mad.”

44. “You know, most dogs just chew on toys. They don’t redecorate the entire living room.”

45. “I appreciate your enthusiasm for digging, but the flower bed is not your personal sandbox.”

46. “I love how you think the ‘leave it’ command is just a suggestion.”

47. “You must have misheard me. I said ‘sit,’ not ‘steal my socks and run around the house with them.'”

48. “I know the squirrels are taunting you, but you don’t need to take it so personally.” 

49. “I see you’ve adopted the ‘act first, think later’ approach to life.”

50. “You’re the reason we can’t have nice things. Like an intact couch.”

For example, when my friend’s labrador, Buddy, stole a sandwich off the counter, she said to him, “Buddy, I know you think you’re being sneaky, but the evidence is all over your face. Literally. You’ve got mustard on your nose.” He just wagged his tail and looked at her with his best “who, me?” expression.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re complimenting their silly antics, making random observations, or scolding them for being naughty, your dog will love the attention and affection.

Just remember, they may not understand your words, but they definitely understand your tone and body language. So go ahead and have some laughs with your furry best friend!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q1: Is it okay to say silly things to my dog, or will it confuse them?

Don’t worry, saying funny things to your dog won’t confuse them. Dogs are highly attuned to tone of voice and body language, so as long as you’re using a friendly, positive tone, they’ll understand that you’re being playful and affectionate.

Q2: Can saying funny things to my dog actually strengthen our bond?

Absolutely! Engaging with your dog in a lighthearted, humorous way can definitely strengthen your bond. It shows them that you enjoy their company and want to have fun with them, which can increase their trust and affection for you.

Q3: What if my dog doesn’t react to the funny things I say?

Every dog is different, and some may be more responsive to humor than others. If your dog doesn’t seem to react, don’t worry. They may just have a more laid-back personality. Keep trying different funny phrases and pay attention to their body language. A wagging tail or a playful pose can indicate that they’re enjoying the interaction, even if they’re not overtly reacting.

Q4: Can I say funny things to my dog even when I’m training them?

While training sessions should generally be more focused and serious, there’s no harm in incorporating some humor here and there. In fact, using a playful, upbeat tone can make training more enjoyable for your dog and increase their motivation to learn. Just make sure to use clear, consistent commands and reward them for good behavior.

Surya Deo