31+ Comebacks to “Takes One to Know One” That Will Leave Them Speechless

We’ve all been there – in the heat of an argument, your opponent drops the classic “takes one to know one” line. It’s a childish retort that can leave you feeling frustrated and at a loss for words. 

I’ve compiled a list of 31+ comebacks to takes one to know one, that will help you turn the tables and come out on top.

By having a few clever responses up your sleeve, you can navigate these situations with confidence and ease.

 Childhood Classics – Nostalgic Comebacks to “Takes One to Know One”

 1. “I know you are, but what am I?”

This throwback to childhood is a surefire way to make your adversary feel silly for using such an immature comeback in the first place. As Pee Wee Herman famously said, “I know you are, but what am I? Infinity!”

 2. “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”

Another nostalgic childhood comeback that, while silly, can catch your opponent off guard and lighten the mood. Sometimes, a little humor is the best way to diffuse a tense situation.

 Witty One-Liners to Shut Down the Insult

3. “Congratulations, you played yourself.”

Channeling a bit of DJ Khaled, this comeback points out the irony of their statement. If they’re implying you’re [insert insult here], then by their own logic, they must be too. Boom, roasted.

4. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

A clever way to dismiss their comment and assert your position simultaneously. It’s a great option when you want to shut down the conversation without escalating things further.

Also Read: 14 Good Comebacks For Your Ex’s New Girlfriend

5. “I guess that explains why you’re such an expert on the subject.”

This sarcastic remark highlights their apparent familiarity with the topic at hand, whether it’s being annoying, immature, or whatever else they’re accusing you of.

6. “You’re right, it does take one to know one. And I know you’re better than this.”

This response takes a more empathetic approach, acknowledging their point but also encouraging them to rise above petty insults. It’s a good choice when dealing with friends or loved ones.

7. “If that’s true, then you must be a world-renowned expert in [insert insult here].”

Similar to #5, this comeback takes it a step further by sarcastically implying that they are the ultimate authority on whatever negative trait they’re accusing you of possessing.

8. “I’d rather be what you say I am than what I know you are.”

This bold statement shows that you’re confident in yourself and won’t be brought down by their insults. It also suggests that they possess even worse qualities than what they’re attributing to you.

9. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your own hypocrisy.”

Calling out their double standards, this comeback shuts down their argument by pointing out the inconsistency in their logic. If they’re guilty of the same thing they’re accusing you of, their point is moot.

10. “I’m flattered you think we’re so alike, but trust me, we’re not.”

A backhanded compliment that simultaneously dismisses their insult and asserts your individuality. It’s a polite way to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Also Read: Shut Down “Go Back to the Kitchen” with These 20 Comebacks

 Sarcastic Retorts

 11. “I’d insult you back, but you probably wouldn’t understand.”

Implying that they lack the intelligence to grasp a more sophisticated comeback, this response is a subtle dig at their cognitive abilities. Use with caution, as it could escalate the situation.

12. “You’re right, I do know [insert positive trait here]. Thanks for noticing!”

Flip the script by interpreting their insult as a compliment. 

For example, if they say, “You’re so annoying,” reply with, “You’re right, I do know persistence. Thanks for noticing!” This positive spin will catch them off guard.

13. “Well, at least I know when to use that phrase correctly.”

If they’ve misused the “takes one to know one” expression, this comeback calls out their error and implies that they’re not as clever as they think they are. Grammar matters, folks.

14. “I know you are, but I’m not. Guess we’re not so alike after all.”

A simple, straightforward response that shuts down their comparison and ends the conversation. It’s perfect for when you want to save your energy for more important things.

15. “I may be [insert insult here], but at least I have the self-awareness to admit it.”

This comeback acknowledges your flaws while also highlighting your emotional intelligence. It shows that you’re secure enough in yourself to own your shortcomings, unlike your adversary who relies on childish retorts.

Turning the Tables

 16. “Oh, so you’re an expert on being [insert insult here]? Please, enlighten me.”

This response challenges them to elaborate on their accusation, putting them on the spot and forcing them to either back up their claim or backtrack.

 17. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there something you need to talk about?”

A more compassionate approach, this comeback suggests that their insult may be a projection of their own insecurities or issues. It shifts the focus to their well-being and can catch them off guard.

 18. “If I wanted a comeback, I’d wipe it off your chin.”

A bolder, more aggressive retort that implies they have poor oral hygiene or engage in certain activities. Use this one sparingly and only in appropriate situations.

 19. “I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.”

This comeback suggests that they have the mental capacity of a child and would require a simplistic explanation to understand your point. It’s a playful jab at their intelligence.

 20. “I’m not arguing with you. I’m explaining why I’m right.”

A confident assertion of your position, this comeback dismisses their argument entirely and frames the conversation as a lecture rather than a debate.

 Pop Culture References

21. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Channeling Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, this comeback implies that they’re misusing the phrase or don’t fully grasp its meaning.

22. “I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”

A darkly humorous comeback that suggests you value your phone’s battery life more than their existence. It’s a bit extreme, so use it with caution.

23. “You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?”

Inspired by the film Pretty in Pink, this comeback encourages them to take a break from their negative behavior and be a better person, even if just for a day.

24. “I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.”

A twist on a classic line from the TV show The Outsiders, this comeback frames your insult as a mere observation of their character.

25. “I’m sorry, I don’t engage in mental combat with the unarmed.”

This comeback, a variation of a quote often attributed to Mark Twain, implies that they are intellectually inferior and not worthy of your time or energy.

Absurd Analogies

 26. “Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. I think you owe it an apology.”

This comeback suggests that their existence is a waste of the Earth’s resources and that they should apologize to the plants that sustain them.

 27. “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter comeback than that.”

A creative way to say that their insult was weak and that you could easily come up with something better, even through unconventional means.

 28. “I’ve been called worse things by better people.”

This comeback minimizes the impact of their insult by implying that you’ve faced harsher criticism from more respectable individuals.

 29. “I’m not a mirror, so stop projecting your issues onto me.”

A clever way to call out their behavior as a projection of their own problems, using the metaphor of a mirror to drive the point home.

 30. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there, and I don’t want to see you every day.”

A playful comeback that suggests you’re already in a hellish situation and don’t want to be bothered by their presence any more than necessary.

 The High Road – Mature Responses to End the Conversation

 31. “I’m choosing to rise above this conversation. Have a nice day!”

Sometimes, the best comeback is no comeback at all. This response shows that you’re taking the high road and refusing to engage in their negativity.

 32. “I appreciate your perspective, but I respectfully disagree. Let’s move on.”

This diplomatic response acknowledges their opinion while firmly standing your ground. It also suggests that dwelling on the disagreement is unproductive and that it’s best to move forward.

 33. “I’m not interested in trading insults. If you’d like to have a civilized discussion, I’m open to that.”

This comeback sets a boundary and establishes your expectations for the conversation. It puts the ball in their court to either engage respectfully or end the interaction.

 34. “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, but taking it out on me isn’t going to help. I hope things get better for you.”

This empathetic response acknowledges that their behavior may be a result of external factors and offers a kind sentiment without sacrificing your own well-being.

 35. “I’m secure enough in myself to not be affected by your words. I wish you the same peace of mind.”

This comeback showcases your emotional maturity and self-confidence while also extending a compassionate wish for their own personal growth and happiness.

Pro Tips for Delivering the Perfect Comeback 1. Stay calm and composed: Delivering your comeback with a level head will make it more impactful and less likely to escalate the situation. 2. Use a playful or sarcastic tone: This can help diffuse tension and show that you’re not taking their insult too seriously. 3. Know when to walk away: Sometimes, the best comeback is no comeback at all. If the situation is getting too heated or you feel unsafe, it’s okay to disengage and remove yourself from the conversation.

The Final Word

Remember, the goal of a good comeback is not to escalate the situation but to assert your confidence and shut down the conversation. 

With these 31+ witty comebacks to takes one to know one in your arsenal, you’ll be well-equipped to handle any “takes one to know one” situation that comes your way. 

Choose your words wisely, deliver them with confidence, and watch as your adversary is left speechless. Happy comeback-ing!